on my mind today. an unorganized bulleted list.

• I don't like this house anymore.
• It's impossible to keep this house clean, how will I manage when I am working?
• I am nervous about my date on Friday.
• If I were the 'proper' BMI for the sleep study I would weigh 160 at the absolute max (which is still 'obese'). The last time I weighed so little I was on a lot of speed and working at UPS. Right now I weigh 210, and no, I don't feel great in my body... I am getting winded too easily. Closer to 180 feels good on my body... But the goal for me is to feel good, not weigh a certain amount.
• My calves still hurt really bad from working out in bedroom the other day, but i still need to excercise. So...
• I am going to go for a very long walk.
• Umn. I got a job*.
• I am stressed out that I will not be able to come up with enough money to move.
• I really really really love my girlfriend.
• I also really really really love my friends.
• It would be awesome to see more of the people listed in the last two items.
• Next weekend I am going to get two fillings, and get paid to get them. Awesome. The last time I got fillings I may have been 12.
• I'm goingt o inseminate next weekend, too.

* Yes, i got a job It's cleaning houses for 9.50/hr, and will only be like 10-15 hours per week. I need to include the fact that I will be getting out of the house as payment, because I think it will do me more good than i can possibly describe. Also, I will be moving my body which always makes me feel better. I'm very nervous about coming up with enough money to move, as I mentioned. But right now I need to have faith that the universe will take care of me, as it always does.

I'm posting a lot lately

I mentioned earlier that I am nervous about my date on Friday. So, yeah, I have a date Friday. With a new person. A stranger, but not in the way that I called the Brute a stranger, because by the time I met her we were pretty much in it. Even if we were telling ourselves it was going to be a casual one night stand.
( Anyway, this new person... )