Carsick

i just started bleeding. Of course, because i am house-sitting** and all my supplies for bleeding are at home.
Then I went online and ordered some ovulation tests and a fertility supplement, and I started crying after hitting the confirm order key because I'm feeling really emotional about the prospect of becoming a mother. I have never wanted anything this bad in my life. And I've wanted this thing so bad my whole life.
I was going to order from your friend's shoppe, sugarmommaless,  but they don't ship to the US. Bummer, cause I really wanted that cool spit-test thing.
Anyway. I also just ate an entire pint of cheap ice cream. And now I think I will don a facemask and take a bath. Which. it seems, is what I do best when I'm house-sitting. The cat I'm sitting is very very very sweet and there's no tv. Thank the goddess. I'm so tired of looking at tvs - even ones that are not turned on!

** Thanks, lovelikeyeast, for hooking that up!

-----edited because I forgot to mention: my period is almost a week early!! really bad timing for my cycle to become off!

I think i'm entering really intense pms a bit early.
It hit me today that I'm really really upset that I'm not going to be around my family for x-mas. I miss them. Some awful things have happened t some people in my family... everyone's getting old and I want to see my grandparents. I miss my mumma so so so much, and she'll be there. I can't handle flint without her, but... She'll be there.
Earlier today, my uncle rick, who is Spencer's grandfather, had a seizure while driving and ran off the road and into a tree. He's okay. He didn't hit anyone else, and he doesn't have a scratch on his body. But this inability to drive makes him even more dependent on aunt sal, who already has so much on her shoulders.
I wish I could see her, and hug her.