
So, I'm losing weight relatively quickly now, I think. My clothes are fitting differently, all of a sudden. It's not abnormal for my body to change fast. Especially since my car has been broken down, so I walk a LOT more (I probably walked about three miles yesterday, which was really really nice... I just walked to buses instead of transferring). And I have less time, because of the longer times in transit. So, I'm not eating.
I guess this would be fine. Except that I'm a pig. I love to eat. And I love to eat a lot. I mean, I have "indulge." tattooed in my mouth, for fuck's sake. It bums me out when I really like something, and I have a lot of it, but I get full really fast because my body is just not used to taking on food.
Just now, I made myself "lunch." It's 2:30 in the afternoon, and I hadn't eaten yet today (this is pretty much standard, now... not that unusual, anyway, throughout my life and many other's I'm sure). I made a bowl of white rice mixed with that Trader Joe's "Indian Fare" Palaak Paneer, which looks kinda like baby poop with cheese cubes in it. Delicious. And fast. And I could only eat HALF of a BOWL of food. I'm stuffed!
Who the hell am I??
The weight loss is not something that makes me happy, either. I like my body right now. I've been quit smoking for almost a year and a half, so I realize it might be time for my body to settle into wherever it "naturally" wants to be. But I don't want it to be smaller! I could use a wardrobe overhaul, but I don't want to go through that again. And if I do, I want to shop for this body. I wanna dress curves, god damnit. I feel like the rest of my body finally grew into my ass, and I LIKE it. I feel healthy and energetic (aside from being sick for the last two weeks, that is).
Wah.