leaving. again.

[charlz_lynn]

well. i'm on the road again. i left brooklyn yesterday morning. I'll leave ptown tomorrow, for boston, which I'll leave thursday for 1 week with my family and one week with my old friends. And then 2 months of camp. And leave for Portland. I'm ready to get my life and plans started. I wonder, always, what will change at festival.
Something happened last night that reminded me that I'm about to go to a place that is so not queer-positive, body-positive, or sex-positive. It's just not really human-positive. And it hit me last night, when I was having a teeny tiny anxiety attack, that I'm probably not going to get to feel sexy for a long stretch. Starting tomorrow. Or,. really, starting yesterday. Because ptown, I feel, is not very positive either, especially not if you're femme.
I'm so privileged that 2 weeks of not feeling great about myself seems like a long time. Part of it is also that, since g and I opened things up, I kinda wanna have some fun. But, shit. With who? I could prolly go pick up some hot young thing in khaki's at the Gay Bar in toledo. (that's a joke, but i could probably fetishize sleeping with the 16-year-old version of my girlfriend)
Alright. I'm going shopping for dresses with one of my favorite people from last summer today. I should shower and put some damn clothes on.

Comments

[notyourmama2.livejournal.com]

You could post pictures for us, and we could all remind you how hot you are, if that would help...

[charlz-lynn.livejournal.com]

I love you, and I can't wait to see you.

[dkbos.livejournal.com]

you are coming to my town overnight and you haven't called to see if i want to have coffee with you? what's wrong with this picture?
ok, i understand you have lots of cool friends you need to see but there are others of us who would love to see you before you leave this coast.
i guess i'll live if i have to wait until fest. but i will say, that if you find yourself with time to kill in the boston vacinity - call me and drop by for a cuppa.

Fuck.

[hairlessllama.livejournal.com]

I sort of wish I'd read this before I ran into you today because after we parted, I actually couldn't help thinking how great you looked. I usually try to tell people when I'm thinking nice things about them (unless, of course, it's awkward for some reason and/or I'm wrangling both small children and my parents through the streets of Puppetland and am consequently flustered). But then again, it probably counts double if I didn't know you were needing to be appreciated and thought those things independently, so maybe nevermind.

So yeah. This is me appreciating you. You look great and running into you and yo mamma totally fucking made my day (and I've spent the rest of the afternoon watching Xanadu in my underwear, so that's saying something). Have a most delightful roadtrip and we'll catch up sooooooooon!!