Confession

[charlz_lynn]

I know that I'm really busy. I know that when people come to Portland they have a lot going on; people to see, family, sights, whatevering to do. But. It hurts my feelings when people I love and have known for a very long time come here and don't even say "Hey. I'm in your town and too busy to see you." Or whatever.

This has happened a BUNCH of times in the last month and because of it I'm feeling really weird and insecure. Am I weird? Do these people not like me? Have I been/am I being ostracized by my community? It's because I'm not pretty, isn't it?
I know this is all really silly, but I just needed to acknowledge that it's happening.

And everything else: Just. Whoa.

Oh, and PS. I actually do feel kinda pretty lately. Mostly thanks to Joey and my hair.

Comments

[janespeed.livejournal.com]

perspective: YOU just traveled and didn't check in with everyone here.

we all do it. nothing personal, just sometimes the trip isn't about seeing EVERYONE. which does not mean you don't love them.

you are very well liked in our circle. don't fret.

[charlz-lynn.livejournal.com]

Oh no, I totally recognize that. But I did check in with a handful of my closest people, even though my trip was kind of secret. I really get that it's not personal, it's just happened a Bunch recently. It's the repetition and people I feel close to... it's just weird. That's all.

[avnerd.livejournal.com]

hey, i put in a comment but anonymously - so hopefully you see it. xo

[charlz-lynn.livejournal.com]

Oh! Crap... that was so not about that. We tried! And I'm sorry I didn't see you when I was down there! It's a silly thing, I know... really, so silly. and maybe it's just my own coming to terms with the fact that there is no time for other people right now.
Oy. Thanks, friend. I do really hope I get to see you someday soon!