pissed.

[charlz_lynn]

I am so mad right now.
I've been calling and emailing out for those sleep studies. I finally reached someone just now and she took my information. My email address. Phone number. Age. Height and weight.
I lied. Said I weighed 190 (I weigh more like 210 right now). She said I'm "outside" their "limitations", making me ineligible for the study.

My immediate response to this sucks. I should be mad at them for having limitations period. And then also for setting them so low. But instead I want to say "I'm only a size 14!" Or, if I actually weighed 190, I'd only be a size 12. I want to say "But no, I'm good enough." Like I should want to be thinner and by being thinner I would be better. FUCK THAT! And fuck them.

I said I wondered if it would be an issue, to which she said "Sorry," in what I can only interpret as an ultra-bitchy tone.

I cannot let this contribute to the body issues I've been having lately. Absolutely not.

Comments

[mightyjo.livejournal.com]

Yeah. fuck them. you are so beautiful just the way you are. at this moment. now. always.

[campanita.livejournal.com]

Ugh. I am mad right along with you. Thinner=better has been rammed into our brains for so long that it makes sense that you go there. I wish the only body issues that we had were loving our bodies too much. You are so hot and a joy to behold.

[avnerd.livejournal.com]

I got turned down from doing studies too, when I wanted so badly to be a guinea pig for cash. Imagine doing homework while getting paid!

Anyway, my BMI is like 30 or 31 and the lady on the phone said they don't take anyone over 28 or 29...she tried to comfort me by saying "even Tom Cruise would be turned down, cause of the height/weight ratio thing".

THanks.

Anyway - it's really so not about you - really not. You are hot, they are not.

xo

[lovelikeyeast.livejournal.com]

Wow, I just wanted to chirp in with some thoughts:

--I'm sorry this fucked with your head. It's a downer, for sure, to get turned down for things weight-related. The only way I was able to get health insurance was to lie about my weight (by 80 lb). I also have to make sure that no practitioners record my weight, or I'll lose that coverage (coverage that I'm paying for). This is a problem.

--Studies are specific. Drug studies especially need to start studying fat people correctly. This also means that studies have to be really accurate about what people's size/weight are, since different body sizes absorb and respond to drugs differently (and not all drugs work correctly by just scaling up doses by formula). Unfortunately, it doesn't mean that studies are giving good representation to real body sizes, not by a long shot. *But* I think it is really important to be accurate about indicators like age and weight/size in studies. So, while it felt like a discriminatory blow (esp. in the wallet), it's really not performance oriented or about being pretty and perfect. It's about following a scientific methodology for accurate results. I hope a sleep study geared toward your size opens up near you, and soon. There are other sleep studies elsewhere specific to The Obese (which apparently Tom Cruise is! who knew?).

Keep your chins up! xoxo