Office

I'm sitting at the doctor's office, waiting. I'm about to have my follow up re-pap after all that colpo/leep stuff last fall. Honestly, I'm terrified. I've been having mystery cramps. And even if it's nothing, I'm scared because last time I was thrown into a deep depression and anxiety spiral, and completely lost my sex drive  which permanently damaged my relationship. We're just starting to get 'it' back. If I have to go through all that again, I'm scared it's going to lead to another six months of not being in my body, feeling betrayed and uncertain.   Scared.

I'm also seeing someone I've never met. My doctor went home sick yesterday. I think it will be fine. Everyone here is pretty great, and I think this ND is queer.

Anyway. Here I go. After this we're leaving on a 4 day camping and collecting trip. Much needed. Woods. Beach. Woods.