sigh

I'm feeling much better today. I watched a movie, and then PASSED the FUCK out. At like 9 pm. and slept until 9 am. I was a teeny bit of a wreck. Still am, but I'm pretending otherwise.
I got some amazing sweater-for-legwarmer action at the thrift today. Inclusing a knitted sweater that is sparkly pink and has a white city skyline and cars on it. !!!
It's rainy and gross and I'm going to watch the movie about bugs with tyler when she comes back from the bank, after I read some essays.

Goodreads.
I love goodreads, it's an incredible point to network around. but it's incredibly overwhelming right now. I have so much reading for school, and writing, and calculating... that pleasure reading is very overwhelming and falls very much by the wayside. I hate that, SO much, because I miss books. And tyler reads so many amazing books that I wish I could just read right now! It's alright, though. I have a good long winter break coming, during which I intend to read a mountain of books and therefore update my goodreads.

And! I'm getting a sewing machine!!! for my birthday! I'm soooooo excited, and don't yet know how to use one. But the check for it is coming in the mail tomorrow and then I get to go shopping for one! Yes! I can't wait! I can finish all the pantleg purses I embroidered last winter. Finally.

I think i understand.

I miss feeling a part of something that has to do with more than my own personal life improvement. Like, right now I'm a part of school, but that's not enough.
I miss community. I miss connectedness. I miss phone calls from friends. I miss friends, really.
I guess I just keep saying that... but. Well. My social life feels manic. Like, I see one or a group of my friends and I'm so happy I could explode, then I don't see or hear from anyone for a long time and I feel like I could suffocate from aloneness. no. not quite loneliness. Anyway. Maybe it's hormones. Or maybe it's having a lot less love in my life here. A LOT less. Either way. boo.

ps. the bug movie was fucking awesome.
xo.

on a much lighter note.

my best friend from third grade put this on my myspace.
She's a fucking whackjob. And I love her.