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charlz_lynnWell, my panic of the weekend has subsided quite a bit. I dunno if I really laid the panic out here, but i was feeling it for sure. I'm feeling pretty grounded again (for now) and ready to move on to the next step.
I don't want all my strategizing to overshadow my heart pain too much. But... well, it has some. I've been really focused on how I am going to survive and make a home for myself and my baby after Michigan, but I need to also make space to grieve my relationship with Mara. I am trying to not make this just about what could have been different/what I could have done differently. Because it seems, really, like all either of us could have done is ignore the things that weren't working. Or pretend things worked for us that didn't. Sigh. It's a lot to think about. We're rally awesome friends. At least we have that.
I am thirteen weeks pregnant today. Today I felt like I looked pretty pregnant, but then when I took this picture I felt more bloated-looking. Anyway..... I made myself lactate for Dawn and Tyler and Mara, too. That was funny and embarassing and totally weird. My boobs are getting huge. Here are pictures of my body. Nakedish.
I don't want all my strategizing to overshadow my heart pain too much. But... well, it has some. I've been really focused on how I am going to survive and make a home for myself and my baby after Michigan, but I need to also make space to grieve my relationship with Mara. I am trying to not make this just about what could have been different/what I could have done differently. Because it seems, really, like all either of us could have done is ignore the things that weren't working. Or pretend things worked for us that didn't. Sigh. It's a lot to think about. We're rally awesome friends. At least we have that.
I am thirteen weeks pregnant today. Today I felt like I looked pretty pregnant, but then when I took this picture I felt more bloated-looking. Anyway..... I made myself lactate for Dawn and Tyler and Mara, too. That was funny and embarassing and totally weird. My boobs are getting huge. Here are pictures of my body. Nakedish.
