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Oh friends...
Feb. 3rd, 2011 10:28 am I just want to be well so bad.
There's a lot to be said for the fact that I am finally feeling emotionally well. I said what i needed to say to C and it's really just a matter of how she responds. I feel like I handled myself really well, considering the amazing amount of rage, anger, and disappointment I have been feeling. Some corner was turned in me the other day, and I feel soft again. Like I like to feel. This is so my mama bear. I have fierce protectiveness. All-consuming. And then it can clear in an instant and I am all snuggles and sweets and compassion again. I prefer to not have to go into protective mama realm. It can get ugly. Especially when you add in the great disappointment in a friend.
I am falling very far behind in chemistry, and just scraping by in geology. The chemistry is complicated and I should be practicing every night, but I am so. fucking. tired. Oliver and I now both have chest colds. He's wheezy and rumbly in the chest every once in a while and it breaks my heart. When he naps today, i know i should really try and get a leg up on chemistry, but I have to sleep some. I was up until 3am. He was up at 7. My chest is on fire and there's not enough tea in the world.
But, you know what? The sun is totally shining. Which is good, cause we need to go to the grocery store and get lozenges for me, some kind of tea for him, juice... The usual. It's a little over a mile, and I make it in 25 min if I haul ass. I think I'll give myself an hour each way. Too tired to haul ass. Also, it's like 35 degrees here. But the sun!!
In child development news: "Please" is oli's favorite word, and he looks so proud every time he says it. Which is very often. He toddles around saying and signing "please, please, please" all day. He's also now said "Audrey" and 'Get down". He's walking, and bending down to pick stuff up and standing back up again. He's so happy, even when he's wheezy. I am a blessed mama. Seriously blessed.
There's a lot to be said for the fact that I am finally feeling emotionally well. I said what i needed to say to C and it's really just a matter of how she responds. I feel like I handled myself really well, considering the amazing amount of rage, anger, and disappointment I have been feeling. Some corner was turned in me the other day, and I feel soft again. Like I like to feel. This is so my mama bear. I have fierce protectiveness. All-consuming. And then it can clear in an instant and I am all snuggles and sweets and compassion again. I prefer to not have to go into protective mama realm. It can get ugly. Especially when you add in the great disappointment in a friend.
I am falling very far behind in chemistry, and just scraping by in geology. The chemistry is complicated and I should be practicing every night, but I am so. fucking. tired. Oliver and I now both have chest colds. He's wheezy and rumbly in the chest every once in a while and it breaks my heart. When he naps today, i know i should really try and get a leg up on chemistry, but I have to sleep some. I was up until 3am. He was up at 7. My chest is on fire and there's not enough tea in the world.
But, you know what? The sun is totally shining. Which is good, cause we need to go to the grocery store and get lozenges for me, some kind of tea for him, juice... The usual. It's a little over a mile, and I make it in 25 min if I haul ass. I think I'll give myself an hour each way. Too tired to haul ass. Also, it's like 35 degrees here. But the sun!!
In child development news: "Please" is oli's favorite word, and he looks so proud every time he says it. Which is very often. He toddles around saying and signing "please, please, please" all day. He's also now said "Audrey" and 'Get down". He's walking, and bending down to pick stuff up and standing back up again. He's so happy, even when he's wheezy. I am a blessed mama. Seriously blessed.
