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Thanks, stitch princess, for nudging me. Also, thanks for the amazing postcard and the patch, too. Awesome. So awesome.
There's too much to say for me to feel like I can even start here. But, I'll try. I'd like to apologize first for any typos or bad grammar; it's late and if i just go for it without caring this will be a lot easier for all of us. Or something.
Festival. Wow. That was really exhausting. I was just looking at an album of someone's photos on facebook and I felt the same way I've felt looking at all the albums of photos on facebook: like I seriously missed out this year. That richness of experience, the connectedness to individuals and to the community, that was not there for me this year. Now, I don't mean for this to sound ungrateful, because I did have a magical time with my son (well, watching my son interact with everyone else), and a much-needed magical time with my girlfriend. But. Working short crew with a new(ish) baby? No thanks. Especially not in a leadership position. There's not enough time to get the quality connections that make the place what it is for each of us individually.
Oliver was such a rock star. He did amazingly well. I mean, fucking incredible, he was. And everyone knows it. But his being so incredible doesn't take down the amount of time I (very happily) spent feeding, bathing, clothing, bouncing, rocking, walking him. Which means one very important thing. I did not lie in a hammock once. And my voice was gone before the festival even started from talking to everyone about my rock star son. People were mostly amazing and helpful, but the occasional person putting themselves directly in my path when it was clear I was making a beeline for the janes really threw things off. People coming up and asking in that giddy excited way if they could hold him right in the middle of one of his few breakdowns unfortunately dimmed the glory of the people who were conveniently placed exactly where and when I needed them.
I don't mean for this all to sound so negative. There were absolutely positive highlights. The meaningful connections I managed to make felt very important and I cherish them more than I might have other years. I also got to have a whole new kind of revenge sex after hearing one of my horrible neighbors do a very clear impression of me getting off. That was fun. I got to introduce my son to so many people with whom I have everlasting connections, regardless of the time spent this year. And he got to spend quality time with everyone. And 98% of the times I looked at him he was smiling as big as I'd ever seen him smile, which is seriously saying something. He loves being outside, and so do I. I love the land, and this reaffirmed the feelings I've been having that it is time for me to create a home that exists all year. A home. For me and Oliver. And we'll go to camp as festies.
God there's so much more to say about what's happened since festival. I spent a week in Flint, where I got in a huge blowout fight with my Nana. Then I was home for a week before my mom came to visit. That was really great, and I got to spend her birthday with her. She was here a week, left yesterday early morning. Tomorrow I'm going to Joseph, Oregon with Casey and Oliver. We come back Monday, and Tuesday I take a red-eye to my dad's house in NC. I spend a week and two days there and when i come home I have ten days before school begins. I'm trying to find an apartment to move into in October, but i thought I could get a loan from my pop that he actually can't do, so it might be November after all.... Which means looong bus rides and staying in too little space for the first bit of school, and that's okay.
So there you have it. The big fat update for my last month and a half. Or at least, what I can manage right now. And I won't be online again with any regularity until after i get home from NC, September 16th. So, look. If you want to be in touch with me, I'd love it. But you'll have to call me.
Sweet dreams.
There's too much to say for me to feel like I can even start here. But, I'll try. I'd like to apologize first for any typos or bad grammar; it's late and if i just go for it without caring this will be a lot easier for all of us. Or something.
Festival. Wow. That was really exhausting. I was just looking at an album of someone's photos on facebook and I felt the same way I've felt looking at all the albums of photos on facebook: like I seriously missed out this year. That richness of experience, the connectedness to individuals and to the community, that was not there for me this year. Now, I don't mean for this to sound ungrateful, because I did have a magical time with my son (well, watching my son interact with everyone else), and a much-needed magical time with my girlfriend. But. Working short crew with a new(ish) baby? No thanks. Especially not in a leadership position. There's not enough time to get the quality connections that make the place what it is for each of us individually.
Oliver was such a rock star. He did amazingly well. I mean, fucking incredible, he was. And everyone knows it. But his being so incredible doesn't take down the amount of time I (very happily) spent feeding, bathing, clothing, bouncing, rocking, walking him. Which means one very important thing. I did not lie in a hammock once. And my voice was gone before the festival even started from talking to everyone about my rock star son. People were mostly amazing and helpful, but the occasional person putting themselves directly in my path when it was clear I was making a beeline for the janes really threw things off. People coming up and asking in that giddy excited way if they could hold him right in the middle of one of his few breakdowns unfortunately dimmed the glory of the people who were conveniently placed exactly where and when I needed them.
I don't mean for this all to sound so negative. There were absolutely positive highlights. The meaningful connections I managed to make felt very important and I cherish them more than I might have other years. I also got to have a whole new kind of revenge sex after hearing one of my horrible neighbors do a very clear impression of me getting off. That was fun. I got to introduce my son to so many people with whom I have everlasting connections, regardless of the time spent this year. And he got to spend quality time with everyone. And 98% of the times I looked at him he was smiling as big as I'd ever seen him smile, which is seriously saying something. He loves being outside, and so do I. I love the land, and this reaffirmed the feelings I've been having that it is time for me to create a home that exists all year. A home. For me and Oliver. And we'll go to camp as festies.
God there's so much more to say about what's happened since festival. I spent a week in Flint, where I got in a huge blowout fight with my Nana. Then I was home for a week before my mom came to visit. That was really great, and I got to spend her birthday with her. She was here a week, left yesterday early morning. Tomorrow I'm going to Joseph, Oregon with Casey and Oliver. We come back Monday, and Tuesday I take a red-eye to my dad's house in NC. I spend a week and two days there and when i come home I have ten days before school begins. I'm trying to find an apartment to move into in October, but i thought I could get a loan from my pop that he actually can't do, so it might be November after all.... Which means looong bus rides and staying in too little space for the first bit of school, and that's okay.
So there you have it. The big fat update for my last month and a half. Or at least, what I can manage right now. And I won't be online again with any regularity until after i get home from NC, September 16th. So, look. If you want to be in touch with me, I'd love it. But you'll have to call me.
Sweet dreams.
