(no subject)

My boyfriend is so hot. God damn.

And, I am picking her up in one week and two hours.

Oh, Dad.

My dad just sent me the most offensive email. He also forwarded me a racist joke the other day. I don't know why he's all of a sudden including me on his forwards -- but my Aunt Sal has recently been doing so too. Hers are all like chain emails and god stuff, but so far his are political and racist.

Unfortunately I can't get the shit he sent me just now to go under a cut, but here is what I wrote back:

Dad,

 I love you and I love hearing from you. But will you please not send me stuff like this? You should know by our conversations that I'm the 'noisy idiot' this is talking about, and it's really incredibly offensive to me. I do my homework, you do yours, and we don't agree on a single thing. That's fine, but let's please try not to throw it in each other's face.

I love you. Can't wait to see you.
Brandiy

Damn. I wish I could show you what he sent me. It's so offensive, and also racist. It's Bush's "resignation speech" as written by an ordinary "Maine-iac" and it's saying that we are no longer Americans. We don't do our homework, everything is messed up by a handful of noisy idiots who care more about a couple polar bears and beachfront property than we do about economic stability of our once-great nation, and if we don't agree with all the hateful spatter than we can kiss it; we might as well learn Farsi and buy ourselves  a Koran.

Monkeys!

I actually got to give a monkey to my favorite child today. My cousin Candace's daughter Ella. I made her the cutest fucking monkey on a long drive. And SHE LOVES IT!!!! I've been nervous that the kids are gonna be like "What's this homemade shit?" But, well. Ella's in love with hers. So, I'm excited to give them away now. I've made 5 this week.... I love it!
I'm gonna go make a special bunny-creature for a friend now. Woohoo!

xo