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The most crazy-making
May. 24th, 2008 06:53 pmI really really really really really wish I could tell if I'm pregnant. I could be. Right now. Or I could not. Damn. I just want to KNOW.
I'm going through a really self-centered time around this. Things I think I am this year (themes, you might say): lazy, self-centered, obsessed with pregnancy. All three things I have decided and have to keep on deciding over and over to be okay with. Serious grieving has taken a huge toll on a lot of aspects of my life, pushing the self-centeredness even further. And the laziness... well. I need to conquer that. Especially where school in concerned. I am looking to festival as a turnaround.
Again.
And again and again.
I will start taking my super-early pregnancy tests on Tuesday. And, of course, I'll do one as soon as I get home tomorrow just because. I do, though, feel like something is happening. I'm having a really weird relationship with my body right now. And I think with food, too. BUt I don't trust myself around this. Of course I'm going to think I'm pregnant.
One more thing: Sex. I want to know about pregnant sex. I want to know about insemination sex.. like, between insemination and really preggers. What are the risks? Why don't I know more about this?
I'm going through a really self-centered time around this. Things I think I am this year (themes, you might say): lazy, self-centered, obsessed with pregnancy. All three things I have decided and have to keep on deciding over and over to be okay with. Serious grieving has taken a huge toll on a lot of aspects of my life, pushing the self-centeredness even further. And the laziness... well. I need to conquer that. Especially where school in concerned. I am looking to festival as a turnaround.
Again.
And again and again.
I will start taking my super-early pregnancy tests on Tuesday. And, of course, I'll do one as soon as I get home tomorrow just because. I do, though, feel like something is happening. I'm having a really weird relationship with my body right now. And I think with food, too. BUt I don't trust myself around this. Of course I'm going to think I'm pregnant.
One more thing: Sex. I want to know about pregnant sex. I want to know about insemination sex.. like, between insemination and really preggers. What are the risks? Why don't I know more about this?
