sharing

well, the boy came back last night. that is to say: i am now, once again, sharing space with a 20 year old boy. a 20 year old extra-privileged white boy, at that. i think it will be better this time. m+m are setting very strict guidelines that he will have to live by, including a schedule for cleaning the bathroom, and not hawking loogies in my god damned sink. or shower. and no playing music or watching tv after 10 pm. i feel a little bit like a ballbuster, but the last thing i want to be doing right now is living with a boy who has proven himself irresponsible, unappreciative of, and disrespectful to his mothers. but, i'm holding on to the idea that it will be more manageable this time. he's going to be required to get a job, which means he won't be there all day every day. i, also, am getting a job... which means i won't be there much at all.
yes, job time. three of the four of us living in my house are now looking for jobs... i'm excited about going back to work. this person who does not work and only has to go to school was unknown to me before last year, and i don't like her. she gets la-a-azy. and depressed. i just dropped my resume off at a couple restaurants, and mjd put in a good word for me at the cup and saucer. we'll see. i just hope it happens fast. i had to take 7 dollars out of my savings account (that i only have for cashing checks, not for saving anything) to make sure i can get around on the bus this week. it's all fine. always is. i have tons of food at home and am not going out anymore, so as long as i can get around on the bus we're in good shape. yes, please, paycheck. and yes, please, more responsibility and structure in my life. it's much needed right now.
i've changed my first-choice school. i'm hoping now to go to Brown, and i started the application process yesterday. well, i requested an application. that was really all i could do. it's scary. i really really hope i get in. caroline and eli have invited me to live in their garage if i come to providence, and there is nothing in the world i would enjoy more. also, i'd be 2 hours away from my mom and 3 hours away from grover. can you imagine?? we'd see eachother at least every other week. that just seems impossible. it all seems a little impossible right now. i need to figure out what i'll do if i get accepted for the second semester of next year, and not for september. i can't take that long off school without having to start payment on my student loans. it might be worth it.
now it's time for me to get back to my day of productivity. i have to go buy my books for 2 classes, and then i'm done with today's to-do list. buying textbooks always leaves me in a rage, i think i'm well prepared for it today, though. then i think i'll ge to a coffee shop and read for a while. i just can't be around david yet. and besides, i did just spend two whole days at home.