The weight thing...yeah. I understand that. A couple years before I moved to PDX I joined a gym for the first time and started working out with a personal trainer and meeting with a nutritionist. In about six months time I'd dropped about 75lbs. and I felt great. Until I started getting the comments. And the looks. It was this weird feeling that I had previously been invisible and now suddenly people could see me. Guys started talking to me and looking at me and making inappropriate comments. It freaked me the fuck out! At least when I was fat I was invisible and they didn't even notice me. It was awful and I felt so conflicted because I liked working out and I liked how I felt and looked but I couldn't deal with the attention.
I've always been a big kid but I know a lot of my chub is a defense mechanism. So fucked up.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2005-09-25 07:14 pm (UTC)I've always been a big kid but I know a lot of my chub is a defense mechanism. So fucked up.