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charlz_lynnI leave today.
I was up all night thinking about many many things, but foremost... I don't really know where I'm going. Growing up at Festival has had eight million positive effects on my life. All the people I would not have been influenced by if I hadn't gone have changed my life in ways I can only imagine. If I hadn't grown up there, I might still be in Toledo Ohio. Maybe I'd be a housewife. Maybe an electrician. Maybe I'd be in the Army. Maybe I'd have overdosed on drugs in high school..... Who knows. And maybe this negative effect of festival would still exist to: I don't know where Home is. Well, I do, for 6 weeks of the year. But now, here I am, leaving another town, having not stayed anywhere more than 9 months in the last two years, and I'm going to the East coast, sure, but where?
My mom was offered a job in Fall River, RI - near Providence - yesterday, so she might move off the cape. And I'm following her around now. I don't feel like I'm leaving Portland to move Home. I feel like I'm being shot off into space and could land anywhere. What if I was offered some incredible job while at Michigan, an offer to go somewhere completely unexpected where I could still have my baby?
It's dangerous for everything I own to be in my car. So dangerous.
I was up all night thinking about many many things, but foremost... I don't really know where I'm going. Growing up at Festival has had eight million positive effects on my life. All the people I would not have been influenced by if I hadn't gone have changed my life in ways I can only imagine. If I hadn't grown up there, I might still be in Toledo Ohio. Maybe I'd be a housewife. Maybe an electrician. Maybe I'd be in the Army. Maybe I'd have overdosed on drugs in high school..... Who knows. And maybe this negative effect of festival would still exist to: I don't know where Home is. Well, I do, for 6 weeks of the year. But now, here I am, leaving another town, having not stayed anywhere more than 9 months in the last two years, and I'm going to the East coast, sure, but where?
My mom was offered a job in Fall River, RI - near Providence - yesterday, so she might move off the cape. And I'm following her around now. I don't feel like I'm leaving Portland to move Home. I feel like I'm being shot off into space and could land anywhere. What if I was offered some incredible job while at Michigan, an offer to go somewhere completely unexpected where I could still have my baby?
It's dangerous for everything I own to be in my car. So dangerous.
