![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
My car, Millicent, is not working. She won't start. I'm pretty sure it's the alternator or starter. Bummer. Manageable bummer.
I'm busing again. Which is alright, I've been feeling a little guilty about driving everywhere anyhow. Especially since my insurance lapsed and I can't afford to renew it until i get my financial aid. AND I've been driving around with headphones on listening to Harry Potter and that's likely to get me pulled over. no insurance.... No license.
Last night I was thinking about being in Portland again, being in school again, being in the same house again.... all these things sometimes make me feel like the east coast never happened. Like, I never moved away, only dreamed about it. I never spent all that time striving for that life that is not quite where I am or will ever be... Not to say that my life is disappointing. I love where I am. I love my planned future. And more than anything I love being in school. I'm finally at a level of education where I'm learning new things, instead of finding the things I missed in high school. The things I somehow knew, but was never really taught in a classroom.
Today, after Bio lab, we had a little tutorial in finding information. That was actually pretty awesome. I have access to so much information right here in this computer. And I'm beginning to understand, fully, the privilege I have in both the access and the ability to interpret so much information. Mumma and I had a great conversation about the privilege attached to being smart, and I have to constantly remind myself of this in a school setting. My head feels really clear these days (until I collapse at home after 10 hours of school). I'm not drinking. I'm not smoking. I even quit coffee... (I'm drinking a lot of tea, though). My sugar intake is pretty low (i take sugar in that tea). And not being in a state of falling in love, I think, is incredibly helpful to me right now.
That takes me to another subject that I can't find time to write about on here, but i will someday, I swear it.
I think that's what I got right now.
I'm going to go find cheap lunch and do some calculus. First chem lab today, too. I'll write about my instructor later. Some interestingly horrible things come out of his mouth during class. Yuck.
xo.
I'm busing again. Which is alright, I've been feeling a little guilty about driving everywhere anyhow. Especially since my insurance lapsed and I can't afford to renew it until i get my financial aid. AND I've been driving around with headphones on listening to Harry Potter and that's likely to get me pulled over. no insurance.... No license.
Last night I was thinking about being in Portland again, being in school again, being in the same house again.... all these things sometimes make me feel like the east coast never happened. Like, I never moved away, only dreamed about it. I never spent all that time striving for that life that is not quite where I am or will ever be... Not to say that my life is disappointing. I love where I am. I love my planned future. And more than anything I love being in school. I'm finally at a level of education where I'm learning new things, instead of finding the things I missed in high school. The things I somehow knew, but was never really taught in a classroom.
Today, after Bio lab, we had a little tutorial in finding information. That was actually pretty awesome. I have access to so much information right here in this computer. And I'm beginning to understand, fully, the privilege I have in both the access and the ability to interpret so much information. Mumma and I had a great conversation about the privilege attached to being smart, and I have to constantly remind myself of this in a school setting. My head feels really clear these days (until I collapse at home after 10 hours of school). I'm not drinking. I'm not smoking. I even quit coffee... (I'm drinking a lot of tea, though). My sugar intake is pretty low (i take sugar in that tea). And not being in a state of falling in love, I think, is incredibly helpful to me right now.
That takes me to another subject that I can't find time to write about on here, but i will someday, I swear it.
I think that's what I got right now.
I'm going to go find cheap lunch and do some calculus. First chem lab today, too. I'll write about my instructor later. Some interestingly horrible things come out of his mouth during class. Yuck.
xo.
