charlz_lynn (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
charlz_lynn) wrote2007-06-19 09:32 am
charlz_lynn) wrote2007-06-19 09:32 am
leaving. again.
well. i'm on the road again. i left brooklyn yesterday morning. I'll leave ptown tomorrow, for boston, which I'll leave thursday for 1 week with my family and one week with my old friends. And then 2 months of camp. And leave for Portland. I'm ready to get my life and plans started. I wonder, always, what will change at festival.
Something happened last night that reminded me that I'm about to go to a place that is so not queer-positive, body-positive, or sex-positive. It's just not really human-positive. And it hit me last night, when I was having a teeny tiny anxiety attack, that I'm probably not going to get to feel sexy for a long stretch. Starting tomorrow. Or,. really, starting yesterday. Because ptown, I feel, is not very positive either, especially not if you're femme.
I'm so privileged that 2 weeks of not feeling great about myself seems like a long time. Part of it is also that, since g and I opened things up, I kinda wanna have some fun. But, shit. With who? I could prolly go pick up some hot young thing in khaki's at the Gay Bar in toledo. (that's a joke, but i could probably fetishize sleeping with the 16-year-old version of my girlfriend)
Alright. I'm going shopping for dresses with one of my favorite people from last summer today. I should shower and put some damn clothes on.
Something happened last night that reminded me that I'm about to go to a place that is so not queer-positive, body-positive, or sex-positive. It's just not really human-positive. And it hit me last night, when I was having a teeny tiny anxiety attack, that I'm probably not going to get to feel sexy for a long stretch. Starting tomorrow. Or,. really, starting yesterday. Because ptown, I feel, is not very positive either, especially not if you're femme.
I'm so privileged that 2 weeks of not feeling great about myself seems like a long time. Part of it is also that, since g and I opened things up, I kinda wanna have some fun. But, shit. With who? I could prolly go pick up some hot young thing in khaki's at the Gay Bar in toledo. (that's a joke, but i could probably fetishize sleeping with the 16-year-old version of my girlfriend)
Alright. I'm going shopping for dresses with one of my favorite people from last summer today. I should shower and put some damn clothes on.