charlz_lynn (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
charlz_lynn) wrote2011-11-02 05:03 pm
charlz_lynn) wrote2011-11-02 05:03 pm
Loneliness, can you believe it?
My mom took Oliver to the coast until Friday. They took the cat. My boyfriend has a date in town for the next 5 days. I'm lonely and dealing with some jealousy stuff (The Ranger took the time off work and their housemate is gone, too... whine. I want 5 days of no work, no baby, no roommate! end whine.). I don't like how easily I get lonely. We all know this so I'll just shut up about it now.
Had some pretty great therapy today. I've been feeling like I'm not a very good friend lately because of my lack of time and focus. It was good to work through some of those feelings, to realize that what's important is that I am present when I am giving someone my time, much more important than the amount of time I give them. I think I do an okay job of this. Also important to realize that time with my lover(s) is not the same as friend time, and I should therefore not feel guilty about taking that time as opposed to spending it with my friends. And last, I know some things about myself re: crowds, loud spaces, lots of children together.... it's okay for me to take care of myself around these situations, specifically not going into them.
Using livejournal again is helping me quite a bit right now. Thanks, lj.
I should also mention that I have cried in public three times today, overwhelmed with joy for the arrival of our new friend Petra.
Had some pretty great therapy today. I've been feeling like I'm not a very good friend lately because of my lack of time and focus. It was good to work through some of those feelings, to realize that what's important is that I am present when I am giving someone my time, much more important than the amount of time I give them. I think I do an okay job of this. Also important to realize that time with my lover(s) is not the same as friend time, and I should therefore not feel guilty about taking that time as opposed to spending it with my friends. And last, I know some things about myself re: crowds, loud spaces, lots of children together.... it's okay for me to take care of myself around these situations, specifically not going into them.
Using livejournal again is helping me quite a bit right now. Thanks, lj.
I should also mention that I have cried in public three times today, overwhelmed with joy for the arrival of our new friend Petra.
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I know, me too (the crying with joy part)!!!
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We love you.
I feel so embraced by this tribe.