charlz_lynn (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
charlz_lynn) wrote2008-11-13 12:57 am
charlz_lynn) wrote2008-11-13 12:57 am
Entry tags:
love and stuff.
Last year at this time I was casually dating and thinking I might just never fall in love again, at least not in the way that says "Hey, I'm with you for the long haul." I know. Me? But it seemed impossible that I could ever trust the situation that involves long-term plans and goals after the last situation, with g, where my heart ended up feeling betrayed and forgotten. Thank god I was wrong.
I have made mention of The Brute, and being in love with her, and how plans have changed, but not said exactly how.
Here goes. I'm hopefully getting pregnant this month. I have been planning on doing this on my own for quite some time. When g and I broke up I kept my baby-making time fame and I didn't think for one minute I would find someone whose goals/dreams/values aligned with mine enough to want to be parents together. Not that quickly, andmaybe probably not ever. Well. I was wrong again.
The Brute and I are going to make family together. Our goals and dreams are aligned perfectly. Our values, too. The main issue right now is that we're both having a hard time believing that it can be this simple. Can it be? It seems like it. We're so wild about each other, and we really want so many of the same things, for ourselves, our partners, and our child. It's very interesting changing the language from "My Kid" to "Our Kid" and I'm loving it so much right now. I am looking forward to loving it for a long long time.
Every single day, we laugh on the phone. I mean, laugh until I'm hiccuping and crying and pissing myself. She surprises me over and over and over again with her kindness, generosity, fierce wittiness, boiling hotness, and her ability to put up with me. As far as being a parent goes, she's going to be the greatest dad EVER. I feel so so sooooo lucky to get to have her in my life, and in the life of my/our kid. That is one fucking lucky kid. I have never met anyone who is so great with young people -- so present and respectful of them -- communicating with them on such a human level and seeing them as their own people. Even in our current capacity, where I just get to hear stories about her hanging out with kids, I feel lucky to be a witness.
So what does this look like? I am pretty sure it looks like I will be moving back West this summer. It's hard to make the decision to leave my mom to join a lover but, as she pointed out, she will do what she needs to do. And as someone else pointed out, that's just what people do when they grow up. The Brute and I are going to be scoping out places around Olympia, and we will see what comes of all this. Our dreams include farming, growing our own food and canning it, goats and chickens, making goat cheese, selling things at the market, possibly finding ways to split being stay-at-homes.... These have always been my dreams and I've shared them with people at different points in my life, but for the first time it seems possible that they could become reality sooner than later.
Like I said to her at festival this year. Bring it on.
What a fucking awesome surprise.
I have made mention of The Brute, and being in love with her, and how plans have changed, but not said exactly how.
Here goes. I'm hopefully getting pregnant this month. I have been planning on doing this on my own for quite some time. When g and I broke up I kept my baby-making time fame and I didn't think for one minute I would find someone whose goals/dreams/values aligned with mine enough to want to be parents together. Not that quickly, and
The Brute and I are going to make family together. Our goals and dreams are aligned perfectly. Our values, too. The main issue right now is that we're both having a hard time believing that it can be this simple. Can it be? It seems like it. We're so wild about each other, and we really want so many of the same things, for ourselves, our partners, and our child. It's very interesting changing the language from "My Kid" to "Our Kid" and I'm loving it so much right now. I am looking forward to loving it for a long long time.
Every single day, we laugh on the phone. I mean, laugh until I'm hiccuping and crying and pissing myself. She surprises me over and over and over again with her kindness, generosity, fierce wittiness, boiling hotness, and her ability to put up with me. As far as being a parent goes, she's going to be the greatest dad EVER. I feel so so sooooo lucky to get to have her in my life, and in the life of my/our kid. That is one fucking lucky kid. I have never met anyone who is so great with young people -- so present and respectful of them -- communicating with them on such a human level and seeing them as their own people. Even in our current capacity, where I just get to hear stories about her hanging out with kids, I feel lucky to be a witness.
So what does this look like? I am pretty sure it looks like I will be moving back West this summer. It's hard to make the decision to leave my mom to join a lover but, as she pointed out, she will do what she needs to do. And as someone else pointed out, that's just what people do when they grow up. The Brute and I are going to be scoping out places around Olympia, and we will see what comes of all this. Our dreams include farming, growing our own food and canning it, goats and chickens, making goat cheese, selling things at the market, possibly finding ways to split being stay-at-homes.... These have always been my dreams and I've shared them with people at different points in my life, but for the first time it seems possible that they could become reality sooner than later.
Like I said to her at festival this year. Bring it on.
What a fucking awesome surprise.