as someone who was recently in a similar situation - school is a mind-fuck and yes, sometimes you will spin your wheels and maybe try to fall back on patterns of self-sabotage but fortunately you seem to be able to SEE that and that's more than half the battle.
two things that helped me when I would get into this kind of loop:
1. telling myself "I must be about to learn something, that's why I'm so scared cause I like to think I know everything and really I don't. So painful as it may be, I am not going to give up on this task and I am going to get to the other side of learning this new thing."
2. reminding myself the wise words of a friend "Anyone can start a degree, the glory is in finishing it"
I know - slightly "Hang in there" ish sentiments where there's a kitten on a branch. But I thought it might help.
no subject
two things that helped me when I would get into this kind of loop:
1. telling myself "I must be about to learn something, that's why I'm so scared cause I like to think I know everything and really I don't. So painful as it may be, I am not going to give up on this task and I am going to get to the other side of learning this new thing."
2. reminding myself the wise words of a friend "Anyone can start a degree, the glory is in finishing it"
I know - slightly "Hang in there" ish sentiments where there's a kitten on a branch. But I thought it might help.