charlz_lynn: (burn)
So. I just had a date with prince charming the gardener. We went for a walk, then tried to fix my car a little, and then she dropped me off and headed home. She was on her way back to Seattle from Eugene.

Here's the thing. We totally got into it. She wanted to look at my car, so... that's cool. And nice... So she did. We went to the auto parts store to get carb cleaner. On the way she started saying that we'll get it running and just get it to a place, a mechanic, so they can get it fixed up... And I was like hold on. Wait a minute. I'm not taking it anywhere today. This is where things got weird.

She couldn't understand why I didn't want to, and I told her my getting the car fixed is still contingent on how much it's going to cost. We don't know what's wrong with it, I'm not taking it somewhere (right before I leave for ten days) not even having a quote. No way. And she really wanted to just do it. Like, she wanted to pay for it. And she was being pretty pushy about it. She got stuck on this. Why wouldn't I just let her do it. She just wants to help me. I'm in school, I'm about to get pregnant, there's no strings attached, she just really wants to do something to help me.

I kinda had to be a bitch to get her to realize that this was not something I would be pushed over about. My car is not a necessity. I am not dependent on it. I have a limit on what I will spend to fix it, and that's fine with me. I had to explain that I can't take help I don't absolutely need, and I had to do so very firmly.

It was all really tense. Then things were a little weird. She apologized, both right after I got her to realize what it was about for me, and then later. But I wonder if things will be a tainted between us now a bit. On the way back from the store she said i make her think about things. I asked what she meant and she told me that I am truly unobtainable, and that's one of the things she finds so appealing about me.

People say really weird things.
charlz_lynn: (Default)
the thing about the quarters system is, i have a first day of school like a million (3) times.
No sleep for me, but it's okay. I'd still be in be but i'm waiting for a check to arrive from my mom that i have to sign for.
So, this term is going to be so much more laid back. I'm so so so excited to have some time to myself back, to not be freaking out all the time. Here's my new schedule:

spring term )

So. Let's talk about spring break.
I'm still in shock about the way this last week and a half has played out. How good it's been... how many things smushed into that time.
The day after classes ended, the gardener picked me up and took me to Seattle for a really amazing 2 day date. I came home, and went to Cirque du Soleil with the BT... with super fancy dinner before, and super fancy drinks afterward.***  Then I came home in the morning and grilled yummy deliciousness with t and m and t's friend mike on Easter Sunday. Packing, packing, and at the airport the next morning. North Carolina. See last week of posts.
Then, the gardener picked me up from the airport and dragged me to a hotel for one night. I like our bodies together, they just work really nice. And sweet is not bad. We had breakfast, and I came home to spend the entire day kinda getting ready for the date with the Brutal Stranger (formerly the One Yet to be Named). Holy shit, that was amazing.


Holy crap )
Yesterday I spent the whole day hanging out and running errands with Zelda. We went to check out the Independent Publishing Resource Center, which is the coolest fucking place in the whole world and I'll be becoming a member as soon as financial aid comes. Zelda's going to also. It'll be worth it (money-wise) even just for making my booklette. Not to mention the millions of cool events and resources available to memebers. 
I love Zelda. I love exploring, and this term needs to have much much more of that in it.

So. my predominant feeling this spring break is gratefulness. I feel really lucky and blessed that these amazing wonderful people are giving me their time/energy/attention... I really feel like the luckiest girl in the world. There have been times where being such a slut has been really unfulfilling, unsatisfying, and left me feeling empty and alone, but it's not at all like that now. Because, I guess, things are very loving and emotional while being casual and open. I feel an actual heart connection with the people I'm spending this time with. Really, what a serious honor.

***(sidenote: the BT is, I'm pretty sure, breaking things off with me, it seems because her feelings have gotten stronger, and she's been pretty jealous - surprising to both of us - about my dating these other people. This is probably a good thing. Being with people who are my people makes me realize even more just how much she's not. Anyway... we're meeting in a week about it.) 
charlz_lynn: (Default)
Gifts that make charlz feel like a princess, number seven:


(sharpie for size reference. though they, too, are nice gifts)

And. Where I stayed last night:



Prince charming the gardener is somethin' else. Whoa.
charlz_lynn: (Default)
Wow. I'm fucking floating.

It's spring break. My eye has stopped twitching. My tongue is healing. I feel elated. The sun is shining. I got an A in my crazy hard biology class (no word on calculus yet...), and an A in my clacked-off chemistry class.
I just got home from the greatest 48-hour date ever. My god. Prince charming the gardener lived up to her name, fully. And at some other point I would be well on my way to head-over-heels, and so would she, but right now we can just really really appreciate each other.
Damn. Damn damn damn.
It was interesting to be treated like such a lady. --not at ALL in an incapable way-- At times hard to let go and enjoy, but once I could. My god.
She's somethin else.
On top of everything else... I came home to a letter from my cousin spencer (the content is hard hard hard... his sister is cutting herself and about to get kicked out of my aunt sal's house... but I miss him so much and it's good to hear anything at all).
Also in the mail was an envelope from the One Yet to be Named with a 'prop' in it, which I'll be wearing around my neck for the next week. No, it's not a collar. Can't wait to find out what it's for.
And, finally, I'm going to cirque du soleil tonight with the BT.   (!!!!)
I should not feel guilty about allowing people to take me to things that make them happy. And I should definitely not feel guilty about being happy. I just have to remember that.
charlz_lynn: (hedgehog)
School is over, and I'm officially on spring break! Hell yeah!

i just finished getting my things ready for tomorrow's trip to seattle.
Is this crazy?
I don't know, nor do i care if it is. I'm really excited. we're going to take our time getting up there... getting to know each other. Stopping at thrift stores and looking for a chair to refinish. I have my outfit all picked out. This thing really could go just about anywhere. It's strange feeling drawn like this to someone i haven't met. It's interesting navigating the space and knowledge that i don't know her. That talking on the phone is not exactly getting to know someone. And being careful not to fill in the blanks, which there are many. That task I actually know all too well (of course, how well I succeeded in that task last time is debatable).
Anyhow. I'm sure I'll write all about how it goes down in a couple days.
Umn. did I mention the gardener has a shovel tattooed on her arm? Well, she does. And I can't wait to see it.

My spring break:
thurs, fri - seattle, prince charming the gardener
sat - train back, cirque du soleil with the BT
sun - grilling and hanging out w/ tyler
mon-fri - north carolina (i'm near panic about this now)
sat - meet the nameless one in a hotel and....
sun - breakfast, the most important meal of the day
mon - laundry and textbook buying
tues - begin school.
charlz_lynn: (Default)
on my biology book's website, i keep misreading reading "Sexual life cycles" as "Sexual life styles"... then, what the fuck? oh.
this has happened like twelve times. it's totally bedtime.

prince charming the gardener is picking me up day after tomorrow, but I might meet her tomorrow night.
she's driving down and staying at her sister's. Which is five blocks away.
sweet is not bad. sweet is not bad. sweet is not bad.

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