charlz_lynn: (Default)
 I'm feeling a little disappointed in myself these last couple days. I've spent so much of my very precious time online, dicking around, internet-cycling. I don't know why I do that. Maybe right now it's because I am SO overwhelmed with schoolwork that I am doing that horrible thing I do and freezing. Finding myself incapable of focusing enough to catch up. With no baby, I could take a day and really focus enough to understand quantum mechanics and conservation of momentum and energy. But right now? It's so difficult. 

At this moment, I'm waiting to be able to take my online quiz again, so I'm not in trouble with myself.

Ugh. I hate these patterns. I hate that I can see them, I can feel them happening, and I know that I have the control to change them. I mean, I have the control to fucking stop eating CHEESE!! You would think I could quit trolling okcupid and write a god damned mini research paper. (Four pages. Including data tables. I could write four pages in sleep. But not, apparently, in my shingles-induced sleep.)

Next term is going to be SO very different. New house, better schedule. Shorter shifts with the babies. More time paying someone to watch Oliver and more time covered to study that is not at night. Night time does not work for me. 9pm may as well be 4am with no substance abuse involved these days.

Ranting. Now I'll stop it.  

Oh my god.

Feb. 25th, 2009 02:54 pm
charlz_lynn: (Default)
I love my microscope.
charlz_lynn: (Default)
Looking at a worm. It's about the size of a hair, about as long as my pinky nail is wide. I can see its organs pumping in its body. How can I see this, you ask? Well... With my NEW MICROSCOPE!! My mom got me a motherfucking microscope! It's a stereo microscope. So, not the kind with the stage and 4 different lenses (that's a compound microscope).  It's not necessarily for looking at cells really closely, which I do definitely want to be able to do in my next microscope, but more for the surface of things. And I can see the cells in a leaf, but not the parts of the cell.. just the walls.
This is so freaking exciting. I'm going to start shoving everything under the microscope. Already I've been looking at bones, rubber bands, my skin, shells, water from the cove -- which includes lots of living things... I don't know how to classify the things I'm looking at, and I have a feeling my beginning biology for science majors class probably didn't cover that quite thoroughly enough. All in due time...

charlz_lynn: (Default)
I had a really horrible night of sleep last night. I don't know why I didn't take Ibuprofen when the cramps started. Well, okay, yes I do. I wanted them to go away. I wanted it to just be spotting, not a full-on period, and i wanted to be fully in touch with my body and what level of pain was going on. So, I had cramps, I slept from 6-9, then got up and had dinner. Went back to sleep at midnight-ish, fully aware that this was a whole period, but not cramping too much. Since I quit drinking caffeine I haven't had very horrible cramps at all. Just an hour or so of dull ache and then nothing. This is huge for me. But this was not the case yesterday. I was so uncomfortable all night. Holy shit. In and out of sleep, moaning, in tons of pain, sweating... and still I don't get up and take drugs. Finally, when my mom was getting ready for work at 5am I rolled ut of bed, buttered a piece of bread, and took 4 ibuprofen with a glass of water.  I went back to bed. Just after the sun came up I fell asleep soundly until 10:30. Whew. I needed it.
Lately I don't want to take anything. No caffeine, no alcohol, no pain killers of any sort. I like this new way. I need to, of course, apply this way to the mass quantities of sugar I've been consuming, but... all in good time.

On another note: I've been obsessively listening to Radio Lab. I just finished the show titled "Diagnosis" and in the last part of the show, they discuss how in the 20's, scientists diagnosed SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) as being the effect of an enlarged thymus gland.Status Thymeco Lymphaticus )


Feb. 23rd, 2009 12:15 pm
charlz_lynn: (Default)
I think I finally figured out what I want to do! It's very exciting to me, now I have to see if it sticks and if Evergreen has a program for it. I want to be a plant pathologist. I LOVE the microscope, and tree diseases (well, parasites, really) are what got me interested in biology in the first place. I wonder if I could somehow minor, or double major, in entomology...?

I feel really excited right now. I want to go back to school immediately, but that's not exactly an option -- I have to wait a year in WA to get residency. Erp.

I mean come on... What is more perfect for me than this? From Wikipedia:

Plant pathology (also phytopathology) is the scientific study of plant diseases caused by pathogens (infectious diseases) and environmental conditions (physiological factors). Organisms that cause infectious disease include fungi, bacteria, viruses, viroids, virus-like organisms, phytoplasmas, protozoa, nematodes and parasitic plants. Not included are insects, mites, vertebrate or other pests that affect plant health by consumption of plant tissues. Plant pathology also involves the study of the identification, etiology, disease cycle, economic impact, epidemiology, how plant diseases affect humans and animals, pathosystem genetics and management of plant diseases.


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