Alright.

Apr. 26th, 2008 07:55 pm
charlz_lynn: (shave)
It's almost good that this mid-term vacation is ending soon because I might die of pleasure and joy if it kept up.

That's mostly all I can say right now.

OH! Except my Grampy is awake!! And talking! And watching teevee!!!
My family is truly blessed, and so am I as an individual.

More to come.

On my way

Apr. 24th, 2008 02:04 pm
charlz_lynn: (Default)
Well, I'm at JFK, for four hours. I wish I had realized how long it was going to be, I may have seen if anyone wanted to come hang out with me at the airport. Ah well. Ten bucks for internet access and boom, I'm entertained.
Umn, have I mentioned I'm on my way to Seattle? Well, I am, and I'm a little bit freaking out about it. The Brutal Stranger and I have only met once, but we've had SO much communication. I feel like I know her in a way that I can't possibly, really. But shit, I'm so hot for her. And we've got four days together. I'm not freaked out about it, but I keep having to chuckle.
One extra super great thing is, I get to hang out with Dawn on Saturday.

This is the best vacation ever. I have to keep reminding myself that this is not my real spring break, and I had to do a great deal of work on the trip. But whatever! I'm so happy right now. And so relaxed. ---Aside from being fucking livid over what's going on with the sperm bank.
Most of what I'm feeling is love and happiness. Thank the goddess. And thank my labrys earring.
Shut up, you're jealous.

xoxox
charlz_lynn: (pie)
I have had the most incredible day, but I have to start with my really difficult last night.


Okay, so, on to today.
I woke up late this morning, and had breakfast with my family. Bacon and eggs and scalloped potatoes out of a box that were deliciously trashy. Then my mom and I took her girlfriend's boat (that she built out of plywood) out on a pond. We paddled to an island where we were going to go camping (but didn't) and back again. It was perfect weather and I'm totally sun burnt.
Next i came home to my mix cd from the Brutal Stranger in the mail, and I laid in the hammock and listened to it. It was sunny. Perfect. Perfect perfect perfect.
Ali - my cousin Mike's girlfriend - and I went down to the pier to wait in line for the whalewatching boat so we could secure our place in the nose of the ship. I'm so glad we did, because this particular trip ended up being spectacular. We saw anywhere from 50-100 dolphins and from 36-45 humpback whales and 8 or 9 finback whales. The guy talking over the speakers kept saying that this is not what one expects when going on a whalewatch. We were so spoiled by them. A serious show. I feel high from it. There were times when I saw 6 spouts at once off in the distance ahead of us. It was beyond incredible. Here's a link to my myspace photos, cause I'm posting a lot on there and I haven't gotten around to getting myself anything like a flickr account yet.
Eek! I love the whales SO much!

I know it's silly, but go look!!

xoxox
charlz_lynn: (baby)
Well, my trip so far had been pretty lovely. Lots of relaxing... except I'm totally sick. My voice is g-o-n-e.
It's a little overwhelming to write everything, so, I'm going bulleted:
  • Chickadees eating from my hand in the beech forest.
  • My mom's awesome girlfriend. AWESOME.
  • Ella is a complete doll.
  • Aunt Joan. Good and hard to see Aunt Joan.
  • Aunt Cyndi is my favorite.
  • Candace and Mikey.
  • My family is really very weird. And loud.
  • Tea and conversation with Bowen, more please.
  • Bowen's girlfriend is not imaginary, and is, of course, really lovely.
  • I think I'm going to move to Providence.
  • Providence people cookout. Again, yes please, more please.
  • Hammock.
  • Dune shacks.
  • Dancing.
  • Sleep deprivation.
  • More dune shacks.
  • No voice.
  • Flirting is fun.
  • Seattle in two days -- with the Brutal Stranger for four days. What?
  • Rack tattoo in a week.
  • I'm spoiled, really.
Alright. I guess that's it.
charlz_lynn: (Default)
the thing about the quarters system is, i have a first day of school like a million (3) times.
No sleep for me, but it's okay. I'd still be in be but i'm waiting for a check to arrive from my mom that i have to sign for.
So, this term is going to be so much more laid back. I'm so so so excited to have some time to myself back, to not be freaking out all the time. Here's my new schedule:

spring term )

So. Let's talk about spring break.
I'm still in shock about the way this last week and a half has played out. How good it's been... how many things smushed into that time.
The day after classes ended, the gardener picked me up and took me to Seattle for a really amazing 2 day date. I came home, and went to Cirque du Soleil with the BT... with super fancy dinner before, and super fancy drinks afterward.***  Then I came home in the morning and grilled yummy deliciousness with t and m and t's friend mike on Easter Sunday. Packing, packing, and at the airport the next morning. North Carolina. See last week of posts.
Then, the gardener picked me up from the airport and dragged me to a hotel for one night. I like our bodies together, they just work really nice. And sweet is not bad. We had breakfast, and I came home to spend the entire day kinda getting ready for the date with the Brutal Stranger (formerly the One Yet to be Named). Holy shit, that was amazing.


Holy crap )
Yesterday I spent the whole day hanging out and running errands with Zelda. We went to check out the Independent Publishing Resource Center, which is the coolest fucking place in the whole world and I'll be becoming a member as soon as financial aid comes. Zelda's going to also. It'll be worth it (money-wise) even just for making my booklette. Not to mention the millions of cool events and resources available to memebers. 
I love Zelda. I love exploring, and this term needs to have much much more of that in it.

So. my predominant feeling this spring break is gratefulness. I feel really lucky and blessed that these amazing wonderful people are giving me their time/energy/attention... I really feel like the luckiest girl in the world. There have been times where being such a slut has been really unfulfilling, unsatisfying, and left me feeling empty and alone, but it's not at all like that now. Because, I guess, things are very loving and emotional while being casual and open. I feel an actual heart connection with the people I'm spending this time with. Really, what a serious honor.

***(sidenote: the BT is, I'm pretty sure, breaking things off with me, it seems because her feelings have gotten stronger, and she's been pretty jealous - surprising to both of us - about my dating these other people. This is probably a good thing. Being with people who are my people makes me realize even more just how much she's not. Anyway... we're meeting in a week about it.) 
charlz_lynn: (Default)
North Carolina. March 26th
This is intense, but nice. I wish I had internet access because then I’d have easier communication with my friends and community. Instead I’m a little bit trapped in this mobile home with my sick step-mother and my dad, watching tv all day. Game shows during the day, horror movies at night. Lots of senseless violence. Lots of racist jokes coming from my dad. Family Feud: top eight reasons people give for not living in California. Dad shouts, “Mexicans!” repeatedly. And so on and so forth.
I’m ready to be in the arms of that handsome butch on Friday.
I spent a long time talking to Sandy earlier about abusive men and then about homophobia. It’s hard to talk to someone whose opinions are so different from mine. She’s also just not that smart, and I feel like most of her opinions (other than those about abusive men, as I learned today) are being repeated from things my dad says. Then I went outside and took pictures of their yard. Sandy took me on a driving tour of the swamp so I could take pictures. Millions of pictures of trees and lizards and swamp, and no pictures of my family.
There’s a lot of interesting role reversal happening here. My dad is on vacation from work this week and Sandy is really sick, so he’s doing a lot of the cooking and cleaning and stuff. He’s such a gruff guy. Watching him go back and forth is interesting. One minute he’s ragging on her, joking with her like he always does – which is way too hard – and then apologizing for being so rough in a way that’s more gentle than I thought he was capable of being. There’s a lot of pain behind his eyes and hers, too, but it’s not acknowledged. That’s not how I prefer things.
Right now I have let go of the idea that wearing headphones in the same room as other people is rude because it’s either this or the sounds of Death Wish IV. No, thank you.
I keep trying to write, to fix up stories for publishing in a little booklette, but I’m in no space for it. I just want to talk on the phone and I promised myself that I wouldn’t spend the whole time here distracting myself from being here. And here I am, on the computer wearing headphones. But it’s this or the television. So.
I haven’t seen Tommy or Elisha (brother and sister) much at all. We’re going out tomorrow night apparently, but so far I’ve just seen Elisha twice, each time with only one of her kids. I haven’t even met Tom’s youngest yet, but he lives two hours away and hasn’t come up here. I’m most likely not going down there, either. Well. Oh well. I’ll at least get to see him tomorrow. Wish we were going fishing.
Yesterday I went out shooting with my dad. That was fun, and my shoulder’s sore from the twelve gauge. I also shot a 9mm and a 22 rifle. I had never shot a handgun before. Way exciting. It’s nice to do things with him that make me feel like we’re really father and daughter. It’s the main reason I want to go hunting with him and all my uncles and grandpa in the fall/winter. It’s what I love the most most most about going fishing. He likes that I’m so rugged. So raggedy. Heh.
Alright. I get home on Friday. The gardener is picking me up from the airport. And we’re going to stay the night in a hotel. Then the next night I meet the One Yet to be Named in a hotel. THAT is exciting and scary. I’m staying two nights in two hotels with two butches. Where am I? Who am I? I’m a little tiny bit freaking out about it. This thing with the OYN has been so long and exciting already that I wonder how I’ll keep from geeking out when I finally see her in the hotel lobby. We’re going right into our scene. We can talk later, since we have about eight million unfinished conversations. Weird, thinking about all the dirty, nasty, terrible things I will be doing in just a few days while sitting on my dad's cheap couch in my dad's mobile home in the swamp next to him and his very sick wife. More later, I suppose. I can't really feel too many things right now, and there's so much here, so deep.

Here, have another picture. Shoot 'em up.

charlz_lynn: (goddess tree)
north carolina. whoa.
more later.
It's not so bad, but I can't wait to get home.

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