Nov. 14th, 2010 10:02 pm
charlz_lynn: (Default)
 I just came from a date with a cisgendered man, and it was lovely. We just sat and talked for two and a half hours, about all sorts of stuff. He's a computer nerd. Married to his junior-high sweetheart. Poly. Really tall. Like, very, very tall. Handsome and geeky. Clearly friendly, smart, compassionate, and open. It was totally great. I had a sweet time. I've been feeling pretty foxy lately and I wore my boots over my jeans for the first time last night, and the second time tonight. Yes, you were all right, it's hot. It was nice to flirt and feel sexy and smart and normal.
We're both looking forward to more dates, it seems. 
I came home and immediately sent him a link to RadioLab and slid in an open invitation for physical contact, because the parting was a little awkward in that way that the end of a date can sometimes get a little awkward. 

Anyway, that's the update. Now I have a date with fucking Schrodinger. This one will not be as sweet but it must happen despite my seeming inability to study after 9pm. 

Good night everyone. 


May. 14th, 2009 12:51 am
charlz_lynn: (Default)
There seems to be a rash of tiny bumps on my lips, possibly strawberry induced (?). I dunno, but I want it to go away. I've been a bit skin-itchy lately too, other places. Random. Or not? I dunno. I do not want to play the "what allergy is this" game right now. Not that I've ever completed a full round of that game anyway, but c'mon. I'm pregnant. That's enough to process with my body right now.
Also, sleeping for shit. I had a date last night and slept over. I don't have an lj name for her yet... Anyway. All night. Sleep, wake up feeling like I had slept a while only to look at the clock to discover it has been ten minutes. Take forever to drift off again. Wake up, thinking "well that was a good stretch." Fifteen minutes. Or five. Or half an hour. The entire night. I think the baby is like, "Ma, what the hell? You slut! Wae up! Who the hell is this trick and where's my Mapa?"
No, I don't feel guilty, but the kid is trying to change that, I think, by waking me up all night. (I know, I know... it's probably not little Avery directly, but the hormones... blah blah. It's more fun to blame the baby. :) If any of you wonder where this comes from, introduce yourself to my mother. )

Monday marks the end of the first trimester. I think I should throw a fucking party.

charlz_lynn: (hippo!)
Well, I went to a temp agency today. It was alright, and I feel like it will be fruitful. One good thing is that they don't have any jobs that pay less than nine bucks an hour. I mean, it would be cool to make twelve, but whatever. Really, I just hope to make between one nad two hundred bucks a week, and not lose my benefits - food stamps, WIC, medical coupons. I didn't mention those things, but I felt like I was already in such a small bracket of employability because of my time restrictions.
I didn't wirte yet about what I might be doing with my girlfriend's bff's high school -- she works there. As a counselor, I believe. And she has a small amount of money to give to someone to run an after-school class or something. But, we couldn't find anything I can teach them... BUT here's the thing-- they need a facilitator for the GSA meetings. And she asked me to do it!! I think it's like fifty bucks a week, one meeting per week. I get to hang out with homo teenagers. Hell YEAH! I hope it works out. More to come.

And the pregnancy update. Well, I'm still pregnant and that is AWESOME! The embryo is the size of a large raspberry. I want to say marionberry because of where I live. I am still haveing very vivid and emotional dreams each night, but they aren't keeping me from sleeping at all. If I eat a whole meal I feel really sick and pukey. I almost threw up at a show the ther night. (did i post about that? I don't remember) Being in the bar was fucking disgusting! I could smell everything. Including someone's yeast infection. Whether or not people had been smoking reefer. A few hundred beers open and a few hundred more spilled on the floor in the last year. And in between shows I ate a huge plate of enchiladas, beans, and rice that almost ended up on the floor with all those beers.
What else? My tits hurt!! And my nipples are changing and tender. And my back is still weird, but better (! woohoo !). And I want to eat steak all day, but that's not so new.

Tonight I am meeting one of the Brute's brothers who I have not met yet. He and his family are staying at her place tonight and she's staying here. I'm a little nervous to meet him and his fam. We shall see.... I worry that he is a homophob.

And last, I am having a date tomorrow with someone I've been dirty emailing with. I think we will have fun, and I am still nervous. I feel like we have great chemisrty in writing but we are a little awkward/easily misunderstand each other over the phone. And something weird came up, but I think we've worked it out. No, we haven't met yet. Tomorrow.
I have to remember not to eat too much at dinner!
charlz_lynn: (Default)
Something interesting I am noticing about pregnancy is that my body is still following a cycle, as far as I can tell. When I would normally be PMSing, my skin breaks out for a few days. And I am hoping my flare-up in my back is related to that, too.... based on what swifty told me. It also feels like I have been a lot moodier the past few days than before. We'll see if this subsides a bit, but it seems so already.

One of the best things about my date with the brute last night is that we came home and had steamy hot totally dirty sex aftrward. That's particularly great because lately my sex drive is not-so-present. I understand it, but it still freaks me out. I could write a million paragraphs here, but I'll hold back. Just want to thank the goddess for letting me get it up for at least one night, and I'm looking forward to the next million nights that happens. Even if they are spread out.

Something that may or may not be complicated by this is the fact that I am going to start dating someone new next week. We have been dirty emailing for a month or so now, and I'm pretty excited to meet her. All I have space for -- in my life, my heart, and my relationship -- is something truly casual. She knows that and hopefully she can really do it and I can really do it with her. I think we will have a lot of fun, hormones willing.

Oh -- one more thing.  have been crying in my dreams all the time lately. LIke, intensely crying. So, the hormonal effects don't end when the lights go out, apparently.


Feb. 5th, 2009 07:02 pm
charlz_lynn: (Default)
I'm about to go bowling with my parents. Both of them. we just had dinner and now we are going bowling. I have never hung out with them together and it's very funny.

Also, I canceled my date just now in an email. I hope she won't be mad.
charlz_lynn: (Default)
I mentioned earlier that I am nervous about my date on Friday. So, yeah, I have a date Friday. With a new person. A stranger, but not in the way that I called the Brute a stranger, because by the time I met her we were pretty much in it. Even if we were telling ourselves it was going to be a casual one night stand.
Anyway, this new person... )
charlz_lynn: (Default)
the thing about the quarters system is, i have a first day of school like a million (3) times.
No sleep for me, but it's okay. I'd still be in be but i'm waiting for a check to arrive from my mom that i have to sign for.
So, this term is going to be so much more laid back. I'm so so so excited to have some time to myself back, to not be freaking out all the time. Here's my new schedule:

spring term )

So. Let's talk about spring break.
I'm still in shock about the way this last week and a half has played out. How good it's been... how many things smushed into that time.
The day after classes ended, the gardener picked me up and took me to Seattle for a really amazing 2 day date. I came home, and went to Cirque du Soleil with the BT... with super fancy dinner before, and super fancy drinks afterward.***  Then I came home in the morning and grilled yummy deliciousness with t and m and t's friend mike on Easter Sunday. Packing, packing, and at the airport the next morning. North Carolina. See last week of posts.
Then, the gardener picked me up from the airport and dragged me to a hotel for one night. I like our bodies together, they just work really nice. And sweet is not bad. We had breakfast, and I came home to spend the entire day kinda getting ready for the date with the Brutal Stranger (formerly the One Yet to be Named). Holy shit, that was amazing.

Holy crap )
Yesterday I spent the whole day hanging out and running errands with Zelda. We went to check out the Independent Publishing Resource Center, which is the coolest fucking place in the whole world and I'll be becoming a member as soon as financial aid comes. Zelda's going to also. It'll be worth it (money-wise) even just for making my booklette. Not to mention the millions of cool events and resources available to memebers. 
I love Zelda. I love exploring, and this term needs to have much much more of that in it.

So. my predominant feeling this spring break is gratefulness. I feel really lucky and blessed that these amazing wonderful people are giving me their time/energy/attention... I really feel like the luckiest girl in the world. There have been times where being such a slut has been really unfulfilling, unsatisfying, and left me feeling empty and alone, but it's not at all like that now. Because, I guess, things are very loving and emotional while being casual and open. I feel an actual heart connection with the people I'm spending this time with. Really, what a serious honor.

***(sidenote: the BT is, I'm pretty sure, breaking things off with me, it seems because her feelings have gotten stronger, and she's been pretty jealous - surprising to both of us - about my dating these other people. This is probably a good thing. Being with people who are my people makes me realize even more just how much she's not. Anyway... we're meeting in a week about it.) 
charlz_lynn: (Default)
Wow. I'm fucking floating.

It's spring break. My eye has stopped twitching. My tongue is healing. I feel elated. The sun is shining. I got an A in my crazy hard biology class (no word on calculus yet...), and an A in my clacked-off chemistry class.
I just got home from the greatest 48-hour date ever. My god. Prince charming the gardener lived up to her name, fully. And at some other point I would be well on my way to head-over-heels, and so would she, but right now we can just really really appreciate each other.
Damn. Damn damn damn.
It was interesting to be treated like such a lady. --not at ALL in an incapable way-- At times hard to let go and enjoy, but once I could. My god.
She's somethin else.
On top of everything else... I came home to a letter from my cousin spencer (the content is hard hard hard... his sister is cutting herself and about to get kicked out of my aunt sal's house... but I miss him so much and it's good to hear anything at all).
Also in the mail was an envelope from the One Yet to be Named with a 'prop' in it, which I'll be wearing around my neck for the next week. No, it's not a collar. Can't wait to find out what it's for.
And, finally, I'm going to cirque du soleil tonight with the BT.   (!!!!)
I should not feel guilty about allowing people to take me to things that make them happy. And I should definitely not feel guilty about being happy. I just have to remember that.
charlz_lynn: (hedgehog)
School is over, and I'm officially on spring break! Hell yeah!

i just finished getting my things ready for tomorrow's trip to seattle.
Is this crazy?
I don't know, nor do i care if it is. I'm really excited. we're going to take our time getting up there... getting to know each other. Stopping at thrift stores and looking for a chair to refinish. I have my outfit all picked out. This thing really could go just about anywhere. It's strange feeling drawn like this to someone i haven't met. It's interesting navigating the space and knowledge that i don't know her. That talking on the phone is not exactly getting to know someone. And being careful not to fill in the blanks, which there are many. That task I actually know all too well (of course, how well I succeeded in that task last time is debatable).
Anyhow. I'm sure I'll write all about how it goes down in a couple days.
Umn. did I mention the gardener has a shovel tattooed on her arm? Well, she does. And I can't wait to see it.

My spring break:
thurs, fri - seattle, prince charming the gardener
sat - train back, cirque du soleil with the BT
sun - grilling and hanging out w/ tyler
mon-fri - north carolina (i'm near panic about this now)
sat - meet the nameless one in a hotel and....
sun - breakfast, the most important meal of the day
mon - laundry and textbook buying
tues - begin school.
charlz_lynn: (Default)
Ree just convinced me to send the wrestling piece to This American Life. I came back from the store and she was sitting in the front room laughing her ass off with my paper in her hand. "Oh, hey, can I read this?" haha. I miss her.
So, I'm gonna do it. Cool.

Next: I'm allowing myelf to be swept off my feet next week after finals. By someone I have not yet met. This is an interesting new dynamic... more talking less fucking, that is. And it has bounds, due to moving and distance and whatnot. I'm going up to Seattle. To see The Gardner. That's her name now. She's gonna come pick me up and take me back with her. I'm making cookies. We're gonna sand a chair. And stuff.

AND then there's someone else. Who, as chance would have it, also lives in Seattle. Who I will meet the weekend I get back from North Carolina. In a hotel lobby. I have instructions. She doesn't yet have a name for here. This thing is very different from the other thing and both are very different from the current thing(s).
Ask me how I'm maintaining this and I will tell you the truth: I have no fucking clue.
Ask me how I'm getting so lucky with all this attention and I will tell you the same truth.

And now, it's stir fry time. yum.
charlz_lynn: (goddess)
My brain has been nonstop for a little too long right now. All day with calculus, up until 1am writing a paper, up at 8 and headed to school, biology, directly to calculus study group, calculus exam, and now my two and a half hour break finishing that paper. I have to go to writing class now and turn in this paper that is not very good. Sometimes it happens.
i have a hard time writing about things that are not funny, and things that I have strong feelings about. Ar.

Okay.. I'm negotiating a meeting with this woman who is SO HOT. It won't be for three more weeks, but... damn I'm excited. It's been hard to stay focused on things and not on what we're planning out, and the conversations that are running parallel to that one.
Damn. That's all.
charlz_lynn: (Default)
I'm at school early. Had a date with the hot librarian last night, and you know what? the hot librarian is.... well, hot.  she had to go to work, so... I took the ride rather than stay in bed an extra half hour to talk the bus.
The thing is, I brought my computer to school so I could finish my essay for writing, but I can't get it out of my email and into my computer because i used a newer version of microsoft office word on the school computer to revise it last time. Now it's not formatted for my version of word, and it's stuck in my email. I think I might just retype what I changed last time so i can still keep my electronic copy.
I should get on that. My looong day begins in an hour and fifteen minutes.
charlz_lynn: (Default)
Okay, I just have to say, twice since yesterday, the butch top has said things that made me think she was about to make offers along the lines of paying for huge things.
Like, she wants to take care of what happened to my car. That, I would possibly let her do. POSSIBLY. but probably not.
The other thing was much bigger.
We were talking about christmas and me not going home for it, and then later I'm pretty sure she was about to offer to buy me a plane ticket home. !!??!! I averted the conversation quickly because I don't know what I could have said, but I don't know where else her particular line of questioning could have come from.


Dec. 21st, 2007 12:11 pm
charlz_lynn: (Default)
I had an amazing date last night with the butch top... This was the first time I actually spent the night and slept in after she went to work. This is wha I found when I came to my car this morning.

Well, they picked the lock, so didn't break the window, thank god. And, notice, my cd player is still there, but the face is gone.
They went to all that trouble to get to my cd player and didn't even get it out. ALSO, who the fuck steals a cd player anymore? And out of my shitty shitty car in a neighborhood with nicer cars. Weird. But it's okay, it could have been a lot worse. It's gonna hurt to pay for that. Ugh. Oh well.
charlz_lynn: (Default)
Last night was Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings. HOLY SHIT. What a fucking amazing show. I wish those weird girls weren't right in the front or right next to us, but whatever. it was amazing.
My day yesterday was really long and exhausting, but started with waking up and doing dirty things for an hour and a half before the sun came up. Then 1 1/2 hours of cramming, and then my calculus final. Which I totally kicked ass on.
My lab partner had my book, by the way. Thank the goddess.
I waited in line to get tickets for sharon jones for 5 hours. it was so worth every second. One of the Dap Kings also brought us all in line coffee.

Tonight. I have a date. I'm pretty excited about it, and what's happening is totally a crush. Not just a trashy slut crush, but also a serious friend crush. Who knows where it'll go, but I can tell this is going to be a lot of fun. I'm going to make her dinner, pack it up, pick her up, and go have a night time picnic in the rose garden. It's gonna be cold, but I think we'll be okay. I wish there were a greenhouse we could go to, just to be inside, but i think the garden will be nice. I told her to dress warm.

I have one more final, a paper to write by monday, a portfolio to drop off, and then I'm done with school. Really, I have a shit load of work to do, and have been putting it off for far to long. It's alright, though. I think I can push out some good stuff. Jonesy and I are leaving Tuesday for SF. I'm spoiled with traveling.
charlz_lynn: (Default)
i like kissing. I especially like having first kisses and then going home. Which is incredibly unlike me, because, well, I'm a trashy slut. But going home after a really nice date, sexual tension still intact, sometimes makes it even nicer.
I would most likely not have come home, but I have class tomorrow. And I skipped calculus on monday. I've been slacking a bit, and I htink it's okay because this term has been a relatively light load. but I'm still using "it's finals week" as an excuse for things, like being stressed out and isolating myself and not making plans. But then I go to do work, and I kinda freeze. So, I think what's happening is a slower, gentler anxiety than I'm used to, just about life and money and school and everything in the whole world. My room is a fucking mess. I'm behind in my school work - but not by much. I think it's possible that I don't have car insurance but I just can't quite deal with it, even enough to confirm the fact that I don't have it. That part's just stupid, really.
It just feels strange, I guess. I think I'll be able to get a better hold on things when jones and I come back from SF, and I get a little time to just be at home.
Oh, one thing I can't believe I almost forgot... DAVID MOVED OUT!!! yes! no more loogies in my sink! He left fucking dvd's from the video store in his room and a couple dishes, and I can't believe that, but he's GONE. I'm not allowed to live with boys any more. Icky. I never confronted him on the things that he did that made me so grossed out, instead I just avoided him. So there's a limit to how much I can bitch about him, really. But not much limit to how happy I can be to have a bathroom to myself again.
I'm going to get up early tomorrow and try to catch up on calculus. Related rates. SO that means I'd better sleep. now.
Did I mention I like kissing? And metalmouthed nerds? Oh, well, I do.


charlz_lynn: (Default)

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